Forgive me...i got nervous

I went to Lowe's on Saturday AM to get some stuff to hang a shelf. Wall hooks, screws, things like that. To get at the heart of what actually happened, there's something about me you should know.

I hated high school. It wasn't fun for me. There were fun times, but high school was a bad time for me overall. I never felt like I fit in. I was in some sort of weird pocket of existance. Not popular enough to ever really be included, but at least popular enough to not have to take the brunt of public humiliation. That was Tricia's job...

Trica was a girl with some issues. Not particularly attractive. Very bad speech problems. She always had something in her mouth to make her sound twice as challenged as she was. She was in special ed. classes as long as I knew her. Tricia grew up a few doors down from me. There were days (as much as I tried to avoid them) that she would include herself in our re-enactments of the Dukes of Hazzard or Star Wars. As a younger kid, there was little I wouldn't do to get around talking with her...that was an hour long investment.

She was also the girl that some guys on the bus tricked her into eating large amounts of Ex-Lax. I remember seeing her walk out of the washroom at school that day after she had most likely spent most of her day to that point uncomfortably in that room.

So, as I walked toward the check out at Lowe's last Saturday. There she was. Walking to the same line. I don't think she recognized me, but I could never forget her. It's not surprising that she'd TRY to forget everyone she went to school with, and I'm probably no exception. She was right behind me. I felt my ears get hot (which happens when I get nervous or embarassed)...kinda like they are as I write this...

All I would've had to say was "Hi, Tricia. It's been a long time. How are things going for you?" Spend an extra 5 minutes and go hang the shelf.

But I didn't. I knew I should, but I didn't. Then I left and nearly cried. I had an opportunity to, on a very very small scale, make something right about this part of my past.

But I didn't...I knew I was being asked to...

...but I didn't