Some thoughts I have, and they might be unfinished...

In the wake of unexplained tragedy, I have some thoughts...

I wonder why our coping mechanisms for most things in life are based on having an explanation for what has happened. I wonder why having reasons for things is the quickest way to closure.

I know, I know...the answers are quick. Reasons and explanations allow us to see the whole picture, but they don't always give us the 'why.' Do they? They just give us what they are...reasons. I'm also not sure the reasons equal 'why.'

Why did the glass break? Because I dropped it, right? Well, dropping something breakable might be the reason it broke, but it doesn't answer all the matters of physics and science that help us understand why it broke.

Maybe the bigger issue is that whether or not I know the reasons or the 'why,' the glass is still broken. So, now what? I guess all that's left to do is pick up the pieces.

And that's where we find ourselves now...trying to pick up the pieces, right? A kid dies in a car accident, and we don't...know...why...

We're not even sure where God was active then? We weren't there. I can tell you where we are though...

...we are here...

...now...

and the good news is that so is God, and we have this amazing opportunity to see God trying to make a big pitcher of lemonade out of the lemons of life. And if we see God working now, then as time passes, we can look into the past and be able to answer some questions (not all of them). Most importantly, if we understand God to be active now, in this situation, we can trust God to be active in the future.

I'm not going to do the minor dis-service of giving some highly thought out theological reasons for why bad things happen. Or even why things happen in general. It may help, but it may not. It never did for me because ultimately, I'd run into a situation that didn't quite fit into the explanation that I was given.

Here are some things I do know though:

Jesus promised us that he'd be with us until the end of the age, but I'd like to eat some wings or something with him sometime, because sometimes that whole 'faith that he's there' thing is just a little too much. But despite my feelings on the matter, Jesus' promises are true and perfect and these are the times to take Jesus at his word. I don't know how it works...

...it just does...

So, please take the time to grieve. Take some time to cry. Be mad at God, He can take it :) But please, don't spend all your time grieving. And don't spend all your time crying. Make sure that some time is taken to see God bringing healing into the situation. If you feel and scraped your knee, it would hurt, but it would start healing immediately.

So, we all may just be scabs for a while...that's okay...

...because healing is a process, and is never immediate...

God loves you

Mission Accomplished (a simul-blog)

After months of hard work and preparation, it finally went down. The Findley Lake Triathlon came and went. I did it, and it was awesome. I've never felt the amazing sense of accomplishment and tired all at the same time.

I met my time goals which was nice. Actually, here a recap of the events of the triathlon:

- Got in my tri-suit (think wetsuit with no sleeves) and looked like a goof.
- After the race instructions we were herded directly the water for the swim. The lake was completely disgusting. Good news is that I only got kicked four times and I only kicked one person.
- Solid time out of the water. Grandparents cheering (that was especially cool).
- On the bike after a decent transition.
- Mile 4 on the bike, GOT STOPPED BY A TRAIN!! ARGH!!
- Really cooked on the bike. Really cooked...
- Run was the hardest 3 miles EVER. (probably overdid the bike) The run was on a trail in the woods at the park. Very, very tough. And this is coming from a former cross country guy, and I've seen just about everything. The rain made is crazy slick and the number of hills was flat out mind numbing.
- Finished drank some water and the boy came over and just looked at me and said, "I'm proud of you, daddy." (my favorite part of the day, in case you wondered)
- Caught my breath and started thinking about the next one... ;)

It was fun, and thanks to your generosity, Matt and I were able to raise $2400 for Team Jared. (It's not too late if you still want to give :) )

That's the best news of all...

I agree...

totally overcome

with life right now...



I'm in this strange sort of stretch where it feels like I'm in a constant state of just fininshing. I am starting to wonder how I'm going to keep up with everything thats's happening right now...

Honestly, I don't have a clue...

Perhaps it all goes back to the Spurgeon quote from the other day; is this my adversity that will push me to some sort of new height?

I hope so. And...

If its okay, I'd like to start flying soon. I've had about all of the 'wind driving against the kite' than I can handle these days.

Dangerous Wonder

So, tonight we went to visit my dad out in the country. As we left, we were greeted by a giant night sky full of stars. It was amazing...

The moon sat very low in the sky, and the boy just looked at us and said, "Look! There's the moon! Can we go touch it?"

So, tonight I'm pondering...

When did we stop thinking we could touch the moon?

The real question is "When did you stop being a child?"

So, if you'd like to ponder along...feel free...

When did you stop thinking you could touch the moon?

When did you stop thinking you could grab a star?

When did you stop thinking the bluegill in a pond were awesome?

When did you become afraid of the ice cream man instead of thinking he was the bomb?

When did you stop being a child?

I like surprises..

especially when they're tickets to the OSU opener...

...Saturday...

It's only Youngstown St., I realize, but...

...it's the freakin' 'Shoe for goodness sake!!

Something that makes me sad in my guts...

is seeing all the trash that used to be people's walls and furniture and homes. There were days that I really liked to drive up Main St. in Findlay and see all the folks in their suits and ties. I liked to see all the cars and walk down the sidewalk and have to wait for traffic to cross the street. I liked having to wait on the white flashing hand telling me that it was okay to cross the street.

Now I just see businesses. They smell like a foot and fish worms. When I look at them, I start to think about the folks that own them. Some will recover. Some won't.

There will be days in the future that life will be like the first paragraph...

...but it feels far away...

I'd like to help and be useful all at the same time.

I like to sleep...

but last night apparently my brain and throat had different ideas.

So, after a long-ish day, I didn't sleep at all...

Looks like there will be no end to my loopy-ness...

...at least not today...

A quote for today...

From Charles Spurgeon-

"Wherever there is likely to be great success, the open door and the opposing adversaries will both be found. If there are no adversaries, you may fear that there will be no success. A boy cannot get his kite up without wind, nor without a wind which drives against his kite."

Glug, glug, glug

Findlay is underwater.

I've never seen conditions like this. Now the sun is out, so it feels from my house like things should be clear. But they are far from it.

Yesterday, Andrea and I cleaned out our basement after finding nearly 2 feet of water in it...

We, however, were fortunate.

People we know here in Findlay and in neighboring towns are totally submerged relying on pool pumps and the grace of others with boats.

Findlay alone has received the aid of 18 other city or township rescuers.

By comparison we have been spared from the hopelessness that assuredly comes from the unforseen loss of home and possessions.

Our hearts go out to those here in town, the surrounding areas, and even our brothers and sisters in Mexico that have been beaten with Hurricane Dean.

It's our prayer that God will be glorified through our efforts of unity and that God's faithfulness will be seen despite the crumminess of it all.

May we all purpose to see God in the midst of trouble. He doesn't leave us alone.

I refuse...

to allow my blogging life to be something that I feel like I'm falling behind in.

I suppose that I got into blogging because it was fun and enjoyable. Sometimes, now, I feel like it's something that I should be doing.

So,

Today, I resolve that blogging will be fun again.

And not something to feel guilty about.

There,

It's off my chest...

snapshots

I've been experiencing things in mental snapshots lately.

I'll go through a day and as I scan over my experiences from that day as I'm winding down, what I remember are images. A smile, a T-shirt someone was wearing, the twinkle in someone's eye...just about anything. And it is becoming a bit more emotional of an experience for me.

I remember the face of the guy that left his reunion early while wearing a shirt that reminded all of us that 'the party hasn't started until the cops show up.'

I see the intense look of a guitarist worshiping through a solo.

I see a singing face. Closed eyes. Smiling and worshipful. The song is kind of silly though.

I see the unique twinkle of a little boy's eye as the street lights catch his glassy, tired eye at the end of a day.

Those thoughts...images really...are teeming with meaning. In my alone times, I've shuffled through the stack of my memories. They're pictures of people at their most honest times. Aren't we all the most vulnerable when we're honest. Stripped of everything that would stand in the way of us being totally honest.

They're not necessarily pictures of people at their best (or worst), just their most raw.

Great site for art like this. Click here.

This is the graphic art of Mike Cina. I just read about him in the most recent Relevant Magazine.

I'm a fan.

Make sure you give him all the credit in the world in you choose to utilize it.

A thought for today

"The fact is that there is nothing that we are doing that God could not raise up a stone from the field and do for Him.

The realization of this puts us in our true place.

Though, lest we get knocked down by such a realization of our own insignificance, let me hasten to add that there is one thing that we alone can give God--

And that is our personal love.

No one else can give God our personal love.

And that is our great significance."

M. Basil Pennington
Finding Grace at the Center

I am amazed...

...by the internet when you use its powers for good and not evil.

That's all I have for now...

PS- anyone ever google image-ed yourself?

Kinda fun!

smacking me in the face...

Two stories from the ministry of Jesus.

One was when Jesus healed blind Bartimeus on the side of road. The other? Jesus healing a paralytic at the pool of Bethesda. What's smacking me in the face?

Jesus looks on these guys with love and compassion and asks them what it is they want.

As if he didn't know.

I imagine not ever being able to see, that my deepest longing would be to have sight. Of if I never had walked, my deepest longing would be to rise up and walk. So, Jesus is really asking them to share their deepest longing. The one that is linked to the core of who they are. Not the longing for stuff or something like that, but the longing for wholeness.

Today, I was asked to imagine being blind Bartimeus, and to imagine Jesus looking at me with what must be a peacefully piercing gaze and hear Jesus say, "What is it that you want?"

It took some time before I was able to answer that question. It took me awhile to get down to the nitty gritty of my soul and find the answer to that question.

The whole thing is smacking me in the face right now...

...and it's awesome...

...mostly...

I was surfing on MySpace

and I found this video of Ellery live...

If they're close to you, go see them...now...



I heart their music, their vibe, and they're the nicest people...

by the way

I have a growing interest in photography. Here's a link to my flickr.

purity and such

So, last night at jOURney I had a question in my mind that I didn't ask. It probably wouldn't have helped and the conversation went down paths that would made me asking it a step backward.

The text was Acts 10, Peter and Cornelius, being the major people along with God making a couple of appearances as well. Peter is given a vision of all the animals and the like on the sheet and God tells Peter to 'kill and eat.' In essence, destroying the division between Jew and non-Jew; the major differences between the two often boil down to ritual purity and not being ritually pure.

My question?

Why did God create this whole idea of purity? Was it just to show us that the division it causes is dumb after all?

Did people just take it too far? Did it cause division that God never had in mind to start with?

David Crowder suggests in "Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven, but Nobody Wants to Die," that it's possible that the Psalms exist because God knew that we'd need songs and other expressions to convey our emotions to God and others. For instance, the Last Supper text says 'after they had sung a hymn,' it's possible that God had ordained that particular hymn or song in order to guide the disciples through that ordeal. In fact, the Passover they were celebrating had prescribed hymns or songs to sing.

So, in that 'vein' is it possible that the issue of purity got so much attention just so God could show us just how selectively we choose to love by destroying our concept of it?

Is this even making sense?

This idea of breaking down the division between Jew and non-Jew was totally revolutionary. But in order for us to get how much God wants unity in the body, did folks (like the Pharisees) have to beat people up with the purity issue?

God continues to be the author of life and love. God continues to push our envelope of love. Notice I didn't say push 'the' envelope, He just pushes ours. My guess is that God's already got in mind the ways He wants us to love. We just have to take baby steps there.

Deciding who's in and who's out doesn't really get us there, so maybe we are all asked to in some way "kill and eat."

So, there's my post service trip thoughts...

I want to be done, but it would be irresponsible...

Done with the whole American political process that is.

A dear friend left a voice mail yesterday that included the info that he needed to include, but as a 'random' thought, he interjected his thoughts on candidates on both sides. Now, it's important that we understand at this point Rush Limbaugh has been what I can only describe as "Gollum-izing" him since the 8th grade (and now we're 30). "For years the ring poisoned his mind..." You can hear it, right?

Anyway, in this spectrum, Guilani is the liberal, so you can only imagine the thoughts about anyone who really is.

So after my pretty decent workout this morning that was pretty relaxing, I went from 0 to frustrated (with the entire process, not my buddy) at warp factor 7. I kind of wish that there was a spot on the ballot that merely says 'abstain.' I register my presence as a part of the process, but I cannot in good conseince vote for either candidate, so I abstain.

Problem is that there is no candidate, no matter what Pat Robertson or his boy says, that reflects the things that Jesus values across the board. I really want to vote and be involved, but I don't know how, and since we all live in the gray between black and white, to vote or not to vote doesn't reflect how I live.

We have been taught to pick and choose issue by issue so much that I'm not even sure Jesus could get elected...

...but he might be able to help with health care what with all those healings and stuff...