Some thoughts I have, and they might be unfinished...

In the wake of unexplained tragedy, I have some thoughts...

I wonder why our coping mechanisms for most things in life are based on having an explanation for what has happened. I wonder why having reasons for things is the quickest way to closure.

I know, I know...the answers are quick. Reasons and explanations allow us to see the whole picture, but they don't always give us the 'why.' Do they? They just give us what they are...reasons. I'm also not sure the reasons equal 'why.'

Why did the glass break? Because I dropped it, right? Well, dropping something breakable might be the reason it broke, but it doesn't answer all the matters of physics and science that help us understand why it broke.

Maybe the bigger issue is that whether or not I know the reasons or the 'why,' the glass is still broken. So, now what? I guess all that's left to do is pick up the pieces.

And that's where we find ourselves now...trying to pick up the pieces, right? A kid dies in a car accident, and we don't...know...why...

We're not even sure where God was active then? We weren't there. I can tell you where we are though...

...we are here...

...now...

and the good news is that so is God, and we have this amazing opportunity to see God trying to make a big pitcher of lemonade out of the lemons of life. And if we see God working now, then as time passes, we can look into the past and be able to answer some questions (not all of them). Most importantly, if we understand God to be active now, in this situation, we can trust God to be active in the future.

I'm not going to do the minor dis-service of giving some highly thought out theological reasons for why bad things happen. Or even why things happen in general. It may help, but it may not. It never did for me because ultimately, I'd run into a situation that didn't quite fit into the explanation that I was given.

Here are some things I do know though:

Jesus promised us that he'd be with us until the end of the age, but I'd like to eat some wings or something with him sometime, because sometimes that whole 'faith that he's there' thing is just a little too much. But despite my feelings on the matter, Jesus' promises are true and perfect and these are the times to take Jesus at his word. I don't know how it works...

...it just does...

So, please take the time to grieve. Take some time to cry. Be mad at God, He can take it :) But please, don't spend all your time grieving. And don't spend all your time crying. Make sure that some time is taken to see God bringing healing into the situation. If you feel and scraped your knee, it would hurt, but it would start healing immediately.

So, we all may just be scabs for a while...that's okay...

...because healing is a process, and is never immediate...

God loves you

Mission Accomplished (a simul-blog)

After months of hard work and preparation, it finally went down. The Findley Lake Triathlon came and went. I did it, and it was awesome. I've never felt the amazing sense of accomplishment and tired all at the same time.

I met my time goals which was nice. Actually, here a recap of the events of the triathlon:

- Got in my tri-suit (think wetsuit with no sleeves) and looked like a goof.
- After the race instructions we were herded directly the water for the swim. The lake was completely disgusting. Good news is that I only got kicked four times and I only kicked one person.
- Solid time out of the water. Grandparents cheering (that was especially cool).
- On the bike after a decent transition.
- Mile 4 on the bike, GOT STOPPED BY A TRAIN!! ARGH!!
- Really cooked on the bike. Really cooked...
- Run was the hardest 3 miles EVER. (probably overdid the bike) The run was on a trail in the woods at the park. Very, very tough. And this is coming from a former cross country guy, and I've seen just about everything. The rain made is crazy slick and the number of hills was flat out mind numbing.
- Finished drank some water and the boy came over and just looked at me and said, "I'm proud of you, daddy." (my favorite part of the day, in case you wondered)
- Caught my breath and started thinking about the next one... ;)

It was fun, and thanks to your generosity, Matt and I were able to raise $2400 for Team Jared. (It's not too late if you still want to give :) )

That's the best news of all...

I agree...

totally overcome

with life right now...



I'm in this strange sort of stretch where it feels like I'm in a constant state of just fininshing. I am starting to wonder how I'm going to keep up with everything thats's happening right now...

Honestly, I don't have a clue...

Perhaps it all goes back to the Spurgeon quote from the other day; is this my adversity that will push me to some sort of new height?

I hope so. And...

If its okay, I'd like to start flying soon. I've had about all of the 'wind driving against the kite' than I can handle these days.